The Modern Retail dictionary, 2022 edition
The year is coming to a close, but macroeconomic headwinds and demand challenges still abound.
There’s a good chance that everyone who works for a retail company got a memo with those buzzwords in their inbox in 2022. It was a difficult year for e-commerce, and executives coalesced around similar buzzwords, jargon and meaningless phrases to either explain away their mistakes, or to make the case that profitability and a return to growth were just around the corner.
Still, there are jokes to be cracked amid a difficult year. In what’s now an annual tradition, we updated the Modern Retail Dictionary with the hottest topics and most groan-inducing cliches our editors and reporters came across in their inboxes this year. And, what we really think when we read them. See past entries here, here and here.
From all of us at Modern Retail, may your new year be filled with fewer buzzwords.
15-minute delivery: A way to get discounted groceries for a month, until the delivery service runs out of business
Ad position: web_incontent_pos1
AI expert: Someone who used ChatGPT once
Affiliate marketing: We hired a PR agency
Attribution software: A way for CMOs to justify their marketing spend, or a way to start a fight on DTC Twitter
Ad position: web_incontent_pos2
Buy now, pay later: Debt, but branded for Gen Z
Commitment to value: Pushing more private label products
Demand challenges: We thought pandemic growth would last forever
Diversification: Spending 70% of your marketing budget on Facebook instead of 80%
DTC brand: Now basically any brand with a Shopify store and an Instagram account
EBITDA: Not the same as profits!
Erewhon: A place where influencers post photos of their groceries
Experiential retail: This store was designed to be Instagrammed
Gen Zalpha: A brand’s way of pretending they are still going to be relevant by the time Gen Alpha grows up
Grocery delivery: We use Instacart
Hired ahead of revenue growth: We thought we could raise VC money forever
Inflation: A word that appeared in every memo in 2022
Meet the customer where they are: Our explanation for why we, a premium brand, are on Amazon
Metaverse experience: We launched a store on Roblox
Non-dilutive startup funding: Debt
Phygital experiences: Brands that went all-in on e-commerce during the pandemic, and are frantically trying to pivot back to stores
Personalization: We know too much about you
Shrinkflation: Theft disguised as product strategy
Sustainable growth: What a VC-backed startup pivots to after not being able to close its round
Promotional activity: A retailer’s way of saying nobody is buying their products
Livestream shopping: We grew up watching QVC
Lifestyle centers: Outdoor malls
Lifestyle brand: We’re hoping people want to buy clothes the same place they buy sheets
Macroeconomic headwinds: The new excuse for layoffs
Marketing optimization: Our CAC is way too high
Merch strategy: We’re trying to be Liquid Death
Micro-influencers: We can’t afford a Kardashian
QR codes: Another way we can track you
Retention strategy: Sending customers more text messages
Surprise sale: We have too much inventory
TikTok: An app for DTC brands to pin their hopes on until there’s a new rumor about it being banned
Twitter: A place to write sponsored threads promoting e-commerce software
UGC: We ask our customers for free content
Web3 expert: Someone who bought one NFT
Wholesale: Something that young DTC brands re-discover every year
Zero-party data: Our website has a quiz